What do you do when you feel stressed or scared? What do you turn to for strength? Personally, I’ve often leaned on music for stability and clarity in times of conflict. When I feel anxious or burnt out, I listen to songs whose messages and themes comfort me. So no matter how old I get or how my music taste evolves, there will always be space in my heart for Ethel Cain, a musician whose songs have given me so much strength over the years. 

I discovered Cain two years ago after a recommendation from my best friend. There I was on my couch, fifteen-years-old, earbuds plugged in, music streaming into my ears, as I listened to Cain’s 2022 concept album, Preacher’s Daughter, for the first time. Of the thirteen tracks, the penultimate song, “Sun Bleached Flies,” was my favourite. Singing from the perspective of a fictional character, Cain tells the story of a preacher’s daughter who runs away from home and falls in love with a stranger, only to be murdered and cannibalized by him. As a haunting piano melody plays on “Sun Bleached Flies,” Cain’s ethereal vocals sing,

We all know how it goes

The more it hurts, the less it shows

But I still feel like they all know, and that’s why I can never go back home

And I spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines

And God, I think it’s about time I put up a fight

But I don’t mind cause that’s how my daddy raised me

If they strike once, then you just hit ‘em twice as hard

But I always knew no one was coming to save me

So I just prayed and I keep praying and praying and praying (Cain)

After that first listen to Cain’s music, I played “Sun Bleached Flies” religiously; it was on repeat 24/7 for the next two months. I loved its underlying message to have strength even in the face of tragedy. Cain’s character, who was murdered by her lover, sings “Sun Bleached Flies” as a reflection on the life she had on Earth. While she was alive, she spent most of her days passively, letting people hurt her without complaint. Until finally, she sees how damaging complacency can be and realizes she’s had enough. She explains that if other people abuse her, she will “[hit] ‘em twice as hard” (Cain). This resolve to react doesn’t necessarily mean a violent response; it’s simply a promise to stand up against disrespect and discrimination. Cain concludes this verse with the repetition of the word “praying,” emphasizing her trust in fate and the future (Cain). Her storytelling in “Sun Bleached Flies” paints a vivid picture for listeners, allowing them to relate to her character’s desire for agency even without facing the same experiences.

Listening to this song and hearing Cain’s message to “put up a fight” has always brought me solace, making me feel understood (Cain). I’ve often made myself feel uncomfortable just to appease others, letting them call me names I didn’t like and treat me in ways that hurt. For me, “Sun Bleached Flies” is a solemn reminder to believe in a better future for myself but not without first combatting my deeply ingrained passivity. 

I find Cain’s lyrics particularly poignant right now, in a time when fascism is on the rise once again. When I check social media and see statements promoting anti-intellectualism and book bans, I feel scared for the future of social progress. When I read the news and see headlines vilifying immigrants, attacking queer people, and disrespecting women, I feel scared for the safety of communities I have lived in and grown up with. When I watch TV and see Donald Trump’s incendiary statements about expansionism in Canada, Greenland, Gaza, and more, I feel scared for the future of democracy in the world. 

But even through my fear, I find hope and strength in Cain’s words. If, like me, you are scared and horrified at what’s happening in the world, don’t let it silence your voice. Turn your fear into anger and channel that rage into change. Don’t be complacent. Believe in a future where all will be safe and right, but don’t expect it to just appear if you don’t put up a fight. Democracy dies because we stay passive, so shine a light on injustice now. Fascists can and will hurt us. If they try to divide us, show them that we are together. If they try to dehumanize us, show them that we are worth fighting for. And just as Ethel Cain says in “Sun Bleached Flies,” if they strike once, show them that we can hit ‘em twice as hard.